


Quite Peculiar

by LadyErin



Category: DCU, DCU - Comicverse, Young Justice (Comics)
Genre: Fluff fluff and more fluff, Impulse is... um Impulse, Kon is a horndog, M/M, Robin the Worry Monster, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-16
Updated: 2012-12-16
Packaged: 2017-11-21 06:35:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/594589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyErin/pseuds/LadyErin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An accident leads to Robin learning that Bart is going through an <i>odd</i> phase. At least he thinks it’s a phase. He would have noticed if it was something more. Right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Quite Peculiar

 

* * *

 

Walking down the hall of the Justice Cave towards the Monitor Room, Robin distractedly scrolled down a list of supplies on his PDA, checking off an item here and there as he reached them.

Feeling a breeze he didn’t take his eyes off the screen as he greeted casually, “Hey Bart.” It was the slight tug on his cape and two bony elbows digging into his back that immediately followed that gained his full attention.

Slipping the PDA into a pouch on his belt, he raised one arm looking under his cape at the small figure huddled there clinging limpet like to his back.

In a dry tone he questioned, “Do I want to know?” Hoping it didn’t involve Wonder Girl, who he’d sent home yesterday insisting that she looked worn-out and should rest. Truthful he was just tired of dealing with her PMS. Not a good mix with super strength.

Bart looked up at Robin with eyes huge behind his goggles, “Hide me!” he pleaded as he tried to burrow further under the cape. “Don’t let him get me! It was an accident! I tripped! I didn’t mean to! And I’m really sorry!” He babbled out just slow enough for Robin to understand the words.

Before he could get more details he heard Superboy bellow, “Imp! Get back here and take your lumps like a man!” Looking up he saw the meta barreling through the air towards him and crossed his arms over his chest.

Seeing Robin, Superboy came to a stop and landed in front of him, a dark glower on his face.

The corner of Robin’s mouth twitched as he desperately tried to keep a straight face. Seriously, if he had a picture of the other boy right now he could make a fortune selling it to the tabloids. With the way Kon was drenched it was easy to see why Bart had run and was now hiding under his cape.

With the evidence presented before him and the little he’d gotten from Bart it was a simple matter to put the pieces to together and come up with a scenario that matched.

Raising his eyebrow he stated in his command voice “Let me guess. Bart was carrying the gallon jug of chocolate milk to the table, tripped and when you saw it flying at you, you hit it?” It was the only way it could have completely covered Kon while missing Bart. Though he was afraid to see what the kitchen looked like right now. And the hallway between there and here was likely spattered as well from Kon flying down it.

Looking sheepish, Kon brushed a chocolate milk covered lock of hair out of his eyes. “Maybe.” He hedged cautiously, not wanting to admit his fault in this.

Giving a sharp nod Robin was firm, “It was an accident. He feels bad. And he’s sorry.” He could understand that Kon was upset, but he wasn’t about to let him take it out on Bart. From behind him came a tearful, “Really, really sorry.” Meeting Kon’s eyes he gave him a hard level stare and added, “I’m sure he’ll try to be more careful in the future.” Feeling a rapid nod against his back in response.

Rolling his eyes and throwing his hands in the air, Kon huffed, “Fine.” He knew Rob was right and he was letting his temper get the better of him.

Bart hadn’t done it on purpose and did sound very remorseful.

A perplexed look settled on Robin’s face as Bart lifted his arm, ducked out from beneath his cape and paused just long enough to peck his cheek before zipping over to Kon. Grabbing his hand he chattered at him, “I’ll help you get clean. Then clean the kitchen all by myself. At normal speed.” As he started tugging him towards the locker room.

Letting Bart lead him away Kon looked over his shoulder and shot Robin an amused looked, shaking his head in exasperation.

Sighing Robin straightened his cape, pulled out his PDA and continued on with what he’d been doing before being interrupted. Hopefully that was the end of the drama for today.

 

* * *

 

Looking around the now sparkling kitchen, Bart fidgeted. “Hey Kon, thanks for helping me clean.” His voice quiet as he kicked one foot restlessly on ground behind the other.

Tossing a sponge in the sink Kon turned around to reply, his eyes widening in startlement when Bart darted forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek as he added, “And thanks for not pounding me.” Then disappeared out the door, past Robin who was standing in the entrance.

Blinking Robin’s tone was puzzled, “That’s new. When did he start kissing people?” Normally, Bart was affectionate, giving everyone hugs or just touching. But as far as Robin knew he’d never done that before.

Rubbing absently at his cheek Kon shrugged, “Dun know? It’s probably just a phase. We should tell the girls before he get’s slapped.” He didn’t seem angry, only surprised. Also, slightly concerned that the girls wouldn’t take it well.

Letting out a soft snort Robin told him with a smirk, “The only reason you get smacked is because you don’t go for their cheeks. Or it could be the cheesy pick-up lines and you trying to look down their shirts.” He’s bet was on the latter as Kon was an incorrigible horndog, who never learned.

Snickering, Kon waved him off, “Naw. They like that. And don’t knock the pick-up lines; they work most of the time.” He grinned and winked at Robin as if sharing a secret with him.

Entering the kitchen and sitting in a chair, Robin shook his head sadly at the fact that Kon actually believed that. Schooling his features, he asked seriously. “Should we talk to him about it? Tell him to stop?” Honestly he didn’t know what to do in a situation like this. Maybe he should ask Nightwing for advice. He was sure he’d have some sort of experience in getting kissed by your teammate.

Joining him at the table, Kon rubbed the back of his skull, “I don’t think so… unless he starts kissing the bad guys or random strangers.” He qualified, a very worried look crossing his face at the the thought.

Raising his eyebrow, Robin steepled his fingers, tapping them against his chin.

“And if he goes for the lips instead of the cheek?” It was a valid question when it came to Bart as he was still struggling with acceptable social interactions.

It was met with a bark of laughter and Kon grinning slyly at him, “We pull the girls off him before they kill him.” His eyes sparkling with humor as he tried to picture their expressions.

They widened momentarily as Robin tossed out casually, “Ok, so what if kisses one of us on the lips?”

Licking his lips and rubbing his chin, Kon looked thoughtful.

Then leering he answered promptly, “I show him how a real kiss is done. You be all Bat-faced and flap your cape at him.” With his fingers laced behind his head he leaned back, obviously waiting for Robin’s shocked reaction.

He was slightly disappointed when what he got was Robin’s lips pressing together and the eyes of the domino mask narrowing at him.

His voice calm but firm, Robin stated in a warning tone. “He’s not some fan girl, Kon. If you take advantage of him I will destroy all your pin-up mags. And make it so you can’t watch half naked women in peace.” He knew it was a low blow, worse than any threat of kryptonite. But he didn’t want Superboy teaching Bart things he was clearly too young to know about yet. As leader it was his job to look out for his teammates, even if that meant protecting them from themselves.

Looking suitably horrified at the threat, Kon was indignant. “Dude, I wouldn’t do that. What kinda jerk do think I am?” At Robin’s noncommittal noise he pouted, “And I’m not gunna be responsible if he tongues me first.” Crossing his arms over his chest he gave Robin his most resolved face. Because what did he expect him to do if Bart frenched him, he wouldn’t want to hurt the kids feelings after all.

When Robin didn’t say anything he got up and sauntered towards the door, then paused stating casually. “Seriously Rob, don’t sweat it. You worry too much.” With a small wave he left Robin alone in the kitchen.

 

* * *

 

Leaning his elbows on the table Robin dug the palms of his hands into his eye sockets and sighed.

Why was he working with these two again? Oh right. Being on a team with people his own age was a good experience for him and supposed to teach him valuable leadership skills.

It was a sound theory, too bad it didn’t work in practice. He felt like he was more of a babysitter than a leader most days. He couldn’t imagine Dick ever feeling like that with the Teen Titans. They were a mature well oiled team in all the footage, working together as a cohesive unit.

What would Dick have thought if Wally had suddenly started going around kissing his teammates? Probably that he’d been infected by some powerful alien drug or mind control. Not that he had to protect him from the females and the over sexed alien. Though Dick had dated Starfire and over-shared one night after a few too many drinks.

Shaking his head, Robin tried to rid his brain of the images. He so did not need the intimate details of his older “ _brother’s_ ” sex life. Also the next time they hung out at Dick’s apartment he was hiding the booze.

Sometime, working with Batman was so much easier. At least at the Bat Cave he didn’t have to worry about rounding a corner and getting kissed. Dick and his freaky ninja octopus hugs, yes. Kisses, no. Batman was being practically effervescent if he so much as patted you on the shoulder for a job well done.

There was no way Robin was going to him with this latest development. Though, it was a safe bet he had the security footage for the Justice Cave and would know before the week was out. However, it was unlikely he would say anything about it.

It wasn’t as if he’d have any advice on it as it was highly doubtful he’d ever had something like this happen with the Justice League. No matter how friendly Superman was.

Alfred was also not an option. He didn’t want to explain to the older man what had happened. He didn’t want to go to Wally or Max about it, either. They might make Bart feel bad and think he’d done something wrong. And while Red Tornado was their mentor as an android, he probably wouldn’t know how to deal with this situation other than telling Bart not to do it anymore. Again hurting his feelings and or making him think he was in trouble.

So his choices were down to two, ask Dick what he should do or figure it out for himself.

Hopefully Bart would stick to innocent pecks on the cheek that didn’t mean anything.

Rationally, he knew that Bart’s physical age of fourteen meant unless he was a late bloomer, he’d hit puberty. He was sure that as a good guardian Max would have explained things to him. Please let him have given him the talk, Robin fervently prayed. Because there was no way in hell he wanted that job. The one he got from his own dad was bad enough. But hey, if he had to do it that would make him the ‘dad’ and Kon the ‘mom’. A definite silver lining. He should research some books tonight on the computer about how to talk to your teen about sex and then work out how to apply that to a speedster. Simpler than saving the world, right?

Feeling more confident with a contingency plan in place he got up and headed out towards the gym. Mentally, he crossed his fingers that there would be no more surprises today and made a note to talk to the girls about Bart’s new proclivity. His dad had a saying ‘this too shall pass’, and with luck this would pass soon. Hopefully with little to no tears involved.

Who said he couldn’t be optimistic.


End file.
